Dedede the Chocolate Salesman
by Master Pencil
Summary: To prove to Dream Land that he's serious about rivaling Kirby's adventure skills, Dedede begins selling chocolate to the residents of Pop Star and beyond as he tries to convince some interesting characters to buy some of that chocolate.
1. Chapter 1 Chocolate Time!

**Dedede the Chocolate Salesman**

**By Master Pencil**

_Come on! That pink puffball's winning! _the self-proclaimed king of Dream Land thought frantically as he stuffed his face with a big cake. The hero of Pop Star, Kirby, was now simply hopping to the finish line as he sucked the food on his way.

Once he jumped across, the crowds cheered as Kirby jumped in the air with delight over his win of the gourmet race. He was carried by the masses to the victory stand, where a Waddle Dee with a top hat eagerly handed over the big trophy to Kirby, who stared at its shiny brilliance with an awe-struck look of accomplishment.

The lonely King Dedede, still eating the cake, furiously threw the pastry several feet away and slammed his jet hammer on the ground with disgust.

"This is getting old!" he pouted as he looked jealously at all the attention his rival was receiving. Kirby tried to hold the enormous trophy, but he began to stumble a little, and he toppled over the steps of the stand that caused the trophy to roll away.

Dedede began to laugh at him, but no one else laughed with him. In fact, they stared at him with angry looks.

"What?" he replied.

"Just get over it," said a Bronto Burt.

"Yes Dedede, it's time you treated Kirby right," said a Sir Kibble. Dedede approached the crowd and folded his arms, his attitude not getting any better.

"You keep giving Kirby so much attention that it makes me feel all lonely!" he retorted.

"Then perhaps you should prove your worthiness," said a Sword Knight.

That made Dedede feel a clever, brilliant idea enter his head, and he scratched his chin as a mischievous look on his face slowly widened.

"I'll let you in on something," he mumbled. The crowd felt curious as Kirby struggled to pick up his trophy.

"I'm stronger than that Kirby can ever dream of!" he exclaimed. "I bet I can go on some adventure and prove myself! Just you wait and see!"

And he ran off into the forest, leaving the crowd very skeptical.

"He won't make it!" said the Bronto Burt. "He can't copy abilities like Kirby!"

Kirby, going desperate, sucked up the trophy into his mouth, and there was a loud pop as everyone turned to see a golden Kirby staring at them with a priceless face.

King Dedede was thinking about plans that would impress the Dream Land residents. He saw an ad in the newspaper about selling chocolate for fundraising.

"There we go! That ought to get the "lazy" rumor off my chest!" he chuckled as he stared at the ad.

So with his own fundraiser, he began to start his quest of fundraising.

"I think I'll pay good ole Meta Knight a visit!" he said to himself as he walked through the peaceful meadows of Dream Land with his Waddle Dee assistant.

"And I'll be rich AND famous! Bet Kirby can't do that!" he joked to the Waddle Dee. "Why, that Kirby would probably eat his chocolate, and then hack up the money he ate earlier to pay for it!"

The Waddle Dee shivered. Meta Knight's house was coming up.

"Here we go my servant! Don't embarrass me or do something stupid! He'll probably go for the dark chocolate, suits his mood better," he explained as they made their way over.

Yes, the king was going to do sell some chocolate. But would he succeed? It all depended on Meta Knight.


	2. Chapter 2 Worthy Chocolate

Dedede the chocolate salesman arrived at the doorstep of Meta Knight's surprisingly normal house with strong determination that today was going to be a profitable day for him. Ringing the doorbell, Dedede waited confidently eager as his Waddle Dee helper playfully swung his suitcase box of chocolate in anticipation.

Several minutes passed by.

Dedede rang the bell again with a confused look on his face, and again he reverted to his happy, profitable thoughts.

Several minutes passed by.

Dedede was now growing impatient, and rang the bell harder so it could echo through the house.

"I know he's here!" he complained.

Several minutes passed by.

Finally, Dedede lost it and began jamming that bell button in the same rhythm as his theme song, and it actually sounded really good for a doorbell. The door slowly opened for Meta Knight's masked face to become visible, and Dedede immediately switched his mood with one of humbly cheerfulness.

"Hey there Meta Knight, how about you try some of my chocolate today?!" he asked him as he opened his suitcase to show him mounds of chocolate bars.

"You will have to excuse my tardiness, a wasp just so happened to fly into my vicinity," he explained.

Dedede nodded and said, "Who needs money sucking pest exterminators with your awesome sword skills?!"

He was really mastering the art of salesmanship nicely.

"Yes, but I must test your chocolate," he told him. He stared at him a little funny.

"Test? This chocolate tastes mighty delicious to me!" he boasted.

"We all have our ways of tasting, but I must test it myself to see its worthiness," he said as he picked up a chocolate bar.

"Uh… ok… see what your favorite is!" he ushered him. Meta Knight opened the cover to stare at its chocolate goodness.

"Hmmm… brown exterior looks well baked," he muttered. Dedede secretly rolled his eyes.

"But the taste…" he turned around, and he lifted his mask up slightly as he bit on the bar and slowly chewed, making sure he felt every single sugar particle and piece of salt in that chocolate.

"Well? Like it?" he asked.

"This is good," he mumbled. Dedede's eyes lighted up with joy, but now he wanted to know how many he was going to buy.

"How many?!" he asked as he rummaged through the suitcase.

"All," he muttered.

"Good!" he exclaimed. "You can have the whole thing!"

He laid it at his feet, and swiped the Waddle Dee's suitcase to give it to him too.

"Your chocolate is worthy chocolate," he told him. "Here is your gold."

He handed over a bunch of coins, and Dedede happily got them to jump up and down with accomplishment.

"You're the best Meta Knight! Consider yourself my favorite customer!" he thanked him. He really didn't seem to be showing that much enthusiasm.

"Your chocolate is what all chocolate must become someday, from the bowl to the wrapper," he told him.

"Yeah, good comment Meta Knight, I'd better be going," he replied as he began to walk away.

He walked away with triumph; until he found out he needed more chocolate.

"Aw, now I have to go back there and get more," he groaned. So he walked to the building where he got the chocolate boxes in the first place.

When he got there, he saw someone else getting his share of chocolate fundraisers, and he dropped his huge mouth onto the ground.

"Kirby?!" he exclaimed at him. He turned around to see a big gut in his face.

"I knew it! Now the REAL test has come!" he proclaimed. "It's rival time!"

Now, the sales war was on.


	3. Chapter 3 Chocolate Rivlary

Cute and chocolate came hand in hand for Kirby.

Skipping to each doorstep in the neighborhood, he was the perfect salesman when it came to his cute tactics, and the simple fact he was the most popular guy in all of Pop Star. He would open his light-weight chocolate boxes so his customers could feast their eyes on the same delicious chocolate his rival was now scrambling to sell.

Too bad nobody liked King Dedede. He was visiting the home of Knuckle Joe, thinking he would be an easy sell for him. But Kirby was coming just around the block as Knuckle Joe met Dedede.

_Oh no, he's coming!_ he thought. Knuckle Joe stared at Dedede's chocolate case with interest.

"What kind of chocolate do you have Dedede?" he asked him.

"Hey, you didn't say, "You're majesty" you-"but he caught himself instantly as he quickly sputtered, "I've got all kinds!"

He was a little curious, but opened his case as Dedede watched Kirby with an eye. He was going door-to-door, appeasing his customers that gladly bought his chocolate.

_He was just born to be a suck up_ he thought angrily.

"Wow, there are a lot of choices here, I can't choose!" Knuckle Joe replied. Dedede sensed his moment of truth.

"Well, that's a pretty typical response Knuckle Joe! Maybe you should try my creamy milk chocolate, made from the finest milk from the finest udders! Or how about the dark chocolate, it's darkly, bitter taste makes a feisty flavor! And don't forget the angelic white chocolate, it'll take you to the heavens with its creamy, almost ice cream like taste!" he explained in his best, salesman like rhetoric.

"Well… I like feisty," he replied. But Kirby was right beside Dedede, and the king jumped with surprise.

"Hi!" Kirby said to Knuckle Joe.

"… What do you have Kirby?" Knuckle Joe asked him.

_My sales have just dropped like sails _Dedede thought with pity. Knuckle Joe inspected Kirby's box, and was a little surprised to find the same options he had.

"Ok, I know this shouldn't be what it's supposed to be, but I'll have to decide not by flavor, but by effort!" he said.

Dedede stared bewildered at him, and began to walk off.

_Well I lost a long time ago… no, wait, what am I doing?_ He whirled around and gave Knuckle Joe the snappiest smile yet.

"Knuckle Joe, should you really buy off of someone just for effort?" he asked him.

"Well, since I'm a fighter, I think whoever raised the most money and trains the hardest should get the most customers," he told him. Dedede stared at Kirby with a very business like look.

"Well Knuckle Joe, I'm afraid the richest fundraisers aren't the most trusted," he said.

"The only reason he's fundraising is because he wants to embarrass me silly!" he explained to Knuckle Joe. Kirby glared at him, but Knuckle Joe still was not totally convinced.

"Really, then why does Kirby have this?" he said as he pointed at Kirby's case.

"Huh?" he blurted as he stared at it himself.

_All funds go toward the Dream Land Charity Org, where all donated money will go to feeding and sheltering the poor._

"NO!" Dedede yelled as he tossed his case into the air. "I've been foiled again by the pink puffball!"

Knuckle Joe shook his head. "Face it Dedede, you'll never beat Kirby. People don't like salesmen anyway."

King Dedede went right up to him.

"Never say never pal!" he told him. Knuckle Joe became irked.

"Did you just call me pal?" he said.

"YES!" Dedede exclaimed.

He upper cut him just as he picked up the case to shield himself, causing him to fly off and explode chocolate everywhere. King Dedede fell somewhere outside his castle at the feet of Waddle Dee.

"Waddle Dee," he told him. "I'm starting my own chocolate!"

He got up and walked to the castle entrance.

"I'll make the best chocolate anybody's ever had their tongue lick on before!" he vowed to the land.


	4. Chapter 4 Magic Chocolate

It was easy enough for him to get started. Waddle Dees were the greatest, little servants King Dedede could ever have, and they were so smart, an entire chocolate factory was being run in the castle. Of course, Dedede knew the all-important rule of quality over quantity, so he made sure all of his chocolates were the tastiest in the land.

The king was all too busy drooling over the scrupulous flavors his chocolate fundraiser would offer.

_Milky Way Wish Chocolate- This will make you wish upon a star of dairy goodness, the old-fashioned chocolate just soared to the stars._

_Dark Matter Chocolate- This will posses you with a strong, darkly taste that will make you feel that evil, little feeling inside you._

_Shiver White Chocolate- The white, creamy taste of Shiver White will make you shiver for more!_

_Waddle Dee's Nutbar- Waddle Dee will be nuts for you to try out his crunchy new flavor!_

_Fairy Pecan- Crunch, crunch, crunch will your teeth go into this delicious bar the fairies sent upon your teeth! Beware Tooth Fairy!_

_Meta Knight's Signature Black Dark Chocolate of Worthiness- This chocolate is so strong, you'll probably be silent for a while too!_

_Adeleine's Rainbow Bar- an artistic new bar with cherry, banana, blueberry, grape, lime, and dark chocolate all mixed together like she dumped all her colors just for you!_

_Chef Kawasaki's Fiery Curry bar- It'll make your tongue melt for more!_

_Marx's Crazy Bar- Eat this, and it'll snap and crackle in your mouth, thus causing delicious insanity!_

_Diet Bar- This is for those of you on the edge._

_0 calorie- You won't have to worry about your eye exploding…_

_King Dedede's Grand Chocolate of Gold Beauty and Delicious Enchantment- Nuff' said_

"Beautiful," he said comfortably.

Later that day, Dedede once again went out to visit the Dreamland residents, and this time they could tell he had something different.

"Wow, what a nicely designed suitcase you got there King Dedede!" said a Poppy Bro. He smiled, since he knew that was the first positive thing someone said to him since Kirby began selling his chocolate that he thought was vastly inferior to his.

"You're in for a nice, little treat!" he told the Poppy Bro. "I recommend this one for you."

He handed him a Marx candy bar, and after paying for it, he quickly unwrapped it so he could get its taste. His cute eyes became huge once it began cracking in his mouth, and he started flinging bombs everywhere.

"Hohohohoho, I'm going to cause all the mischief I want!" he screeched. Dedede stared at his chocolate, especially the Dark Matter ones.

"What did those Waddle Dees put in these?" he asked himself. But the Poppy Bro unloaded all his money on Dedede's money bag, and he was content with that.

So throughout the land he went, his sensational chocolate was working wonders on both the customer, and his profit, and he was so happy over all the success he was making, that he did not look at what the chocolate was doing to the customers.

"Ah, what a day!" he sighed comfortably. He was carrying a huge sack of money to his castle, and he saw someone rush to him. It was Chef Kawasaki, and he was not feeling good.

"The horror your majesty, everybody in town's been turning into monsters!" he panicked.

He was not kidding; the residents of Dreamland were behaving really strange. Some of them were running around breathing fire, some getting an artistic feel, and some were just not right at all.

So Dedede stormed back in the castle and barked, "Waddle Dees!"

They arrived with a major dread, because they knew exactly what he was mad about.

"What's in my chocolate?!" he asked one of them. The Waddle Dee turned the wrapper of one of them around to show the nutritional facts. Dedede rolled his eyes; the facts were no big deal to him. So when he saw that there was a touch of magic in all the bars, his jaw dropped to the floor.

"How?!" he gasped. They all shrugged their shoulders, and King Dedede ran back outside to see Chef Kawasaki with the weirdest gang he ever saw.

The same Poppy Bro he met earlier had gone completely delirious; his tongue was sticking out, his cute eyes had bugged out to become not so cute, and his little hat somehow got scruffier with two cotton tops and not just one.

The second member was a Sir Kibble, now much more like a noble warrior then before. And the one next to him was a Waddle Dee that was a little on the nutty side.

However, the most frightening transformation of them all was a Waddle Doo, and his one, unbinkling eye was completely changed into something ominous.

Before, he had the typical large pupil like any Waddle Doo. But it was now smaller, with a blood red color and a dark gleam to it. It was so creepy looking, that Dedede's eyes became huge just staring at him.

"Uh… Well King Dedede?" Chef Kawasaki said.

"I created MONSTERS!" Dedede exclaimed.

He thought about how he ruined everything, but a few seconds later, it dawned to him.

"I created MONSTERS!" he cheered with evil joy. "Who cares about my reputation? Kirby will DIE!"

Now he had a real purpose to selling chocolate, to build up a force of evil monsters that will scare Kirby senseless.

"At least I'll get the "Softie" rumor off my chest now!" he wickedly snickered.


	5. Chapter 5 Chocolate Battle

The sun set over an open valley.

One imposing figure stood on one side of the valley, a devious smirk staring at the side where his enemy would arrive. His first ally was the deranged Poppy Bro who cackled at the majestic sight. Another, a black Sir Kibble, approached the scene slightly in a dutiful pose. The next was a Waddle Dee hopping from side to side to join the others. And finally, there came a Waddle Doo with a single, red enormous eye with a sinister gleam.

The king raised his arms into the air, and a whole army of altered customers shifted behind him, to stand along the hill with a thirst of pink, that pink being Kirby of course.

He stood on his end of the valley, standing firm with his single case of chocolate, and no one behind him. Their eyes met each other on each opposite, and King Dedede, his arms still raised high, flung them down to the valley's ground.

The customers stormed down into the valley, a mass ready to overtake the one-man army that was Kirby. He threw his case into the air, its chocolate contents flying back down to the ground. A powerful wind sucked in the chocolate into Kirby's stomach and with one gulp; he turned into a walking statue of rock solid chocolate.

He formed into a chocolate boulder and he barreled down the hill to meet his attackers whom have just reached the valley's bottom. They met each other there and the wide varieties of enemies were crushed by Kirby's strength.

Chocolate Boulder Kirby went up the other hill, but started to roll back into the bottom again, further attacking the transformed customers. And once he went up the other hill, he came back once more, trapping the attackers in their place.

King Dedede scowled and ordered Poparx, the insane Poppy Bro, to attack Kirby, and he was more than happy to oblige. Just as Kirby came back from the hill again, magic arrows were fired at his tough exterior which distracted him into crashing into a tree. He returned to normal and saw the scary sight before him.

"Hohohohoho, you're utterly hopeless against me!" he laughed.

Kirby dodged a flurry of bright boomerangs and Poparx teleported several feet away from him so he could build up power. Kirby recognized this attack and quickly puffed out of the way seconds before a blinding light and a powerful beam shot underneath him. The laser tore a line up Dedede's hill, and his other helpers used this as a kind of slide to reach the battlefield faster.

Kirby tossed away his power, and ate a piece of dark chocolate so he could attain the ability to fire bombs of chocolate bits. Poparx was above him now, about to send a cannonball on his head. Kirby dodged this, and the spilt attack that came with it, and fired bombs of chocolate all over him. He screeched with fright, trying to rub them off, but the series of blasts knocked him into the ground, making him temporarily stunned.

"Looks like I better call him," King Dedede muttered. He opened a walkie-talkie, and called for the thing to appear. What came out of the clouds was a blimp with large, shark-like eyes and a toothy grin. It was the flying airship Kabula.

As Kirby stared at it, Poparx recovered and was beginning to charge another huge laser again. This time, Kirby waited until the last moment, when as soon as he opened his mouth Kirby fired chocolate bombs into his mouth. The charged energy was reversed in Poparx and Kabula fired its shots down to Kirby's level while Poparx cringed uncomfortably.

"Ah oh," Dedede said with worry. A loud outburst thrust Poparx into the sky toward Kabula, where he was sent flying into Kabula's face, creating an epic explosion. The broken scrap metal was blown off in all directions and Dedede could see what was left of Poparx fall to the ground, his looks returning to normal.

"Get him Meta Kibble!" Dedede ordered him. The black Sir Kibble was down at Kirby, and he pointed his sword at him.

"Fight me!" he said. Kirby ate a piece of white chocolate to morph a white, silky sword of tough white chocolate so he could pull it out of his mouth. Meta Kibble attacked very quickly, and Kirby was ready just in time to block his strike. Kirby shoved him away a few feet, and Meta Kibble slammed his sword into the ground to create a red tornado, which snaked in Kirby's direction. He jumped out of the way, and Meta Kibble unfurled his wings so he could do a glide attack. Kirby slid under his reach so he could strike his belly, and Meta Kibble dropped to the ground with some damage, but was not done yet.

He began to slice the air with many sharp lasers, but Kirby blocked each of them by slicing his chocolate sword back at their owner, and he was only able to deflect a few. Meta Kibble jumped and spun around so he could become a tornado, and Kirby had to execute tight puffing flight so he could dodge his quick attacks. As he rested for a second, Kirby used the opportunity to strike some blows, and so Meta Kibble reverted to his preferred style of face-to-face sword fighting.

What came next was a series of slices and swipes that were so fast, that Kirby had to stay on his feet so he would not become mincemeat. Meta Kibble's cold mask was all Kirby could see through the forest of slices, and Kirby mustered all of his strength to begin unleashing his assault on his offense, forcing Meta Kibble to be on the defense. Their fighting environment was strewn with rocks and possible obstacles, as King Dedede could plainly see from his high view, but the fighting two could not.

"Watch out for that rock!" Dedede tried to call to Meta Kibble. But he had stumbled over the rock, and Kirby jammed his chocolate sword so hard into his armor that it made a loud cracking noise as it fell apart. Before Kirby could see his facial details, he immediately covered his face and flew away, what seemed to Kirby, in an impressed way.

"Go after him, Nutty Dee!" Dedede told the nutty Waddle Dee. By the way he happily slid down the dirt slide, and by the way he skipped to Kirby, it was clear that he was going to be a pushover.

"Come on Kirby, let's leave this really noisy place and go somewhere fun!" he told him. Kirby was reluctant to give him a beating, since he actually sounded really friendly. So instead, he gave him a tasty little piece of a diet chocolate. He immediately ate it, and he seemed to be changing somewhat into normal. He stared around, shrugged his shoulders and left, ignoring Kirby and the dazed creatures he defeated.

"Ok Kirby, you asked for it! Time to go down there 0 Doo!" said Dedede.

Kirby was walking away from the battle scene, when he noticed the little red figure walking behind him.

"**I have seen your powers Kirby," **he said to him. **"And now, let me show you mine."**

Kirby looked back, and his eyes became huge. 0 Doo had a huge, unblinking red eye that made it look very out of place in a Waddle Doo's body.

0 Doo shot sparkling lasers at Kirby, and he dodged the fire as they exploded as though they were fireworks. He continued to shoot these blasts every two seconds, which made Kirby stay on his feet as he tried to find a way to defeat him.

An idea sprang up, and he popped a mint chocolate in his mouth so he could fire mint projectiles at the eye of the 0 Doo. Red flashed on his eye to signal he was being damaged, and Kirby had to repeat this process while avoiding his fireworks attack.

This process continued until he was dazed, Kirby powered up his shot until he fired it straight on the eyeball.

A big explosion rocked the valley as the negative energy of 0 Doo was gone, and all that was left was a normal Waddle Doo.

King Dedede was jumping up and down with anger, he was defeated once again.

"No one will buy my chocolate after this! Nobody!" he cried.

As much as he wanted to challenge Kirby himself, he felt he would probably defeat him too, and then it would truly be over for the king.

So as Kirby walked back toward home, he waved at King Dedede in an almost friendly way of saying thanks for trying to get rid of him. But all he gave him was a nasty glare and a shaking of his mitten fist.

As the night was upon Dreamland, the king salesman turned his back in the direction of his castle and sighed, unsure of how he will get back on his feet.


	6. Chapter 6 Chocolate Chef

"I'm sorry ok?! I didn't know that magic was in there!" he explained to the huge crowd of protesters at his castle.

"I mean, I hate Dark Matter anyway! And Marx is a crazy freak! You have to forgive me!" he pleaded.

They were still parading around in circles, and King Dedede finally had enough. He went back in his castle, toke one of his chocolate cases, and came back out.

"Here! I'll eat some of this stuff!" he said. The protesters immediately dropped their signs and tried to stop him, but he had eaten the diet bar, and felt… normal.

"See?!" he exclaimed. "Now leave me alone already!"

They looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and left. Dedede mumbled and grumbled his way back inside, where he launched a royal investigation to the magic poisoning.

It turned out, that it was caused by a shower of dark comets with black magic from deep space. And stranger yet, was that the meteor shower was completely unpredictable. So with a comfortable sigh, he began to think about how he would go back to his business.

"I'll need some outside help that's for sure," he said to his Waddle Dee servants. After he said that, he heard a knock at the door.

"Go get that Waddle Dee!" he told the one dusting the shelves. Chef Kawasaki appeared in a nervious expression.

"I…uh…need to tell you something," he said. He did not feel very comfortable at those words.

"Well, go and spit it out before the suspense gets to me!" he replied.

"I think I'll help you," he quickly blurted. The king was pleasantly delighted by this helping hand, and he got out of his throne so he could go towards a dozen new empty cases that were waiting to be filled.

"You won't regret this Kawasaki! Once Kirby will be left in the dark by my superior sales, you can have all of my delicious recipes and spices you want!" he told him. The chef nodded and lightened up as he showed Dedede a cookbook he had brought over.

"This is an old cookbook that contains a very old and tasty chocolate recipe that'll make the customers beg for more!" he said rather proudly.

"Get busy then! The sooner we get started the better!" he said.

The next day, Chef Kawasaki was working on his chocolate with the help of the Waddle Dees. Plenty of new cases were created, and King Dedede was fired up to go selling again. He was looking at the chocolate he was preparing.

"That really doesn't look any different than any other old chocolate," he said to Kawasaki. He smiled and shook his head, which was a good sign.

"Nope, it might not look different, but it sure is different when you taste it!" he told him. Dedede's mouth watered at the thought. The Waddle Dees packed the goodies tight inside the cases, and Dedede snagged them to start a new day.

"It's going to be a prosperous day toady!" he called to the outside world.

He set off, and came to the residence of the deranged Poppy Bro, who was now back to normal.

"First of all, this isn't poison," he said as soon as he appeared. "This will be a real treat for you!"

The Poppy Bro saw that it was different, and gave the king some money so he could try it out.

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "This is simply delish! Your reputation's been improved in my eyes!" the Poppy Bro praised him. King Dedede was so thrilled, he started bragging.

"Of course it's good! It's got the best recipe from… Chef Kawasaki," he said with a slight hesitation at the end.

"Oh, so it's not yours?" he asked him. It would be easier for Dedede to make something up if it were not for the chef himself being behind him.

"Erm…no," he admitted.

"Well, it's your fundraiser, so keep up the good work!" he assured him. Chef Kawasaki patted him on the shoulder as the Poppy Bro shut the door.

"Don't worry King Dedede, I'll just call the recipe _Dedede Chocolate _ok?" he said. He nodded, and went to continue his selling tour. The residents were now praising his chocolate as "awesome", "magical… in a good way", and "Hammer smacking good!"

Before long, sales were high again for Dedede's chocolate, and now he felt like exploring beyond Dreamland.

"To outer space!" he proclaimed from his royal rocket. He blasted off to the other planets of the system, and the king salesman was confident that king salesman will soon be switched the other way around.


	7. Chapter 7 Traveling Chocolate

His rocket was the most flamboyant thing in Outer Space.

No planet was left out of his reach, and since many of these planets were sparsely populated, he went to the planet he knew would buy his chocolate, the fairies of Ripple Star. Something about those little fairies made Dedede think they would be perfect customers because of their rich currency and a passion for sweetness.

"Those fairies will love my chocolate so much; they'll barely fly around with joy! They'll roll around with joy instead!" he told his Waddle Dee. His rocket landed on the super peaceful, super cute world, and before he could even come out, many of them were there at his feet.

"Welcome back King Dedede! What do you have there?" asked one of them.

"This, my sparkly eyed kiddies, is chocolate!" he proclaimed. The fairies stared with anticipation as he opened the case that revealed his chocolate bars.

"They look a lot like the same," said a smaller fairy.

"Looks can be deceiving," he said to her.

"This delicious chocolate was created by a masterful chef that cared for his chocolate as if it was his own son! He would stir it in a bowl and tell sweet little lullabies that lured it to a creamy sleep. It would grow up and be a naughty little chocolate that needed to be taught a lesson when it tried to roll off the table. He spanked it to where it flattened out with better obedience, and this made it a happier chocolate in the long run because it could be tastier when flat! Its healthy nutrients enriched it to where it grew up and graduated from the kitchen, ready to move on to your mouth!" he told them.

His Waddle Dee gave him the weirdest face, but the fairies were hooked anyway.

"YAY!" they cheered. All of them got something in his collection, and he flew away with some money.

His tour soon toke him back to Pop Star for the famous Megaton Punch tournament.

"Who wants some chocolate?!" he asked the crowd. He soon saw Kirby among those in the tournament.

"Outta my way!" he barked as he tore through the crowd to reach the center ring. Kirby was a little surprised at his appearance, but Dedede was pumped.

"Oooo, you look like some fierce little punk with that thing going on your head huh? Well let me show you how it's done!" he boasted. He raised his fist high in the air as he stared at the ground with flaming eyes.

"DEDEDE PAWNCH!" he roared. His mitten fist slammed into the ground and cracked Pop Star wide open, which spilt the planet in two as both halves drifted off.

"Whoops," he mumbled.

After many hours of fixing the planet, he was flying through the mines of his mine cart, running over everyone in his path.

"Here pal! Have this!" he would try to toss a chocolate at an enemy in the way. But they would be crushed by his mine cart before they could even pay for it, so instead, for every one he ran over, he would drop off one chocolate for each.

"Happy Deathday!" he said to the run-over flower creature as he tossed a chocolate bar.

He would later enter the Arena Tournament so he could show that his chocolate would be so tasty, it could be dangerous. He was facing off against a most terrifying Waddle Dee, and all he had to do was lay a big box of chocolate in front of him so he could trip over it and be defeated.

"You just can't resist the urge to look closer?" he asked him.

After having some difficulty in feeding Dyna Blade's chicks chocolate (which he said he figured since they were health freaks because of those apples), he tried to sell some to Whispy Woods, but he could not really pay back the money.

"I can give you my ap… nah!" Dedede interrupted him. "I'll let you off the hook!"

While he continued onward, he thought about where those dark comets came from. But he still had some profit to sell, and so he decided to see who else he would try persuading.


	8. Chapter 8 Dark Chocolate Matter

That night, a comet shot over the woods where King Dedede was camping out, but it was not white like most comets. It dropped a black mass onto the ground near Dedede's tent, and he woke up with a jolt.

"Did you hear that splash Waddle Dee?" he asked his assistant. He shook at him with sleepy eyes and Dedede fearfully crept to the tent opening, his instincts preparing for the worst. He poked his head out to stare at a still healthy fire that lit the little area, and he made a big yawn as he came out to grab a chocolate bar.

"Maybe some chocolate will cheer me up," he said. His opening of the wrapper stirred something in the bushes next to him, and he paused for a minute. He glared at the bush, expecting a pesky Wheelie that might have caused that mortar ruckus earlier, or better yet, Kirby so he could mess with him. But something completely else morphed out of its hiding place, a black ball of dark energy that suddenly opened its single eye.

"Da-da-da-da-dar" he stuttered with fear, his big eyes huge. Memories and thoughts began to swamp his head as he remembered the times it would posses him. Man, how weird that felt to think nothing but darkly thoughts against the world, and that was when he was really terrified, the worst possible thing to happen to him at a time like this, siding with Kirby.

"Oh no," he mumbled. Now he was going to have to help Kirby and a few other cute, little friends (Waddle Dee was one he could stand) and even then Kirby would still be the hero, while he would get the short end of the stick.

"You're really clever and cruel, you know that?!" he told the Dark Matter. It only floated in that one spot, staring at him with one, unblinking eye, and the king toke his own action.

"You're not going to posses me this time! I'll be the one to destroy you now!" he exclaimed. He smacked it with his jet hammer, and the dark eye was sent back up to space. He laughed with triumph as Waddle Dee came out rubbing his head.

"You can sleep tight now Waddle Dee! I just prevented another invasion-"but he noticed that the night turned darker than usual. He looked up to see a swarm of Dark Matter floating above their campsite.

"Let's get away form here!" Dedede cried out as the two of them escaped. The dark eyes examined the things they left behind, and they were a little curious about a box of dark chocolate lying near the tent.

One of them materialized inside it so it could become a part of the chocolate, and so the chocolate became filled with bad magic.

When day arrived, all signs of Dark Matter were completely gone. The Dreamland residents never noticed a thing, but Dedede stood there in a green field, clenching his mitten fists as he wanted to defeat the one thing he hated other than Kirby so he could be on top again.

"If I could take those out, I'll reach a new high!" he muttered to himself. "So if they use bad chocolate, I'll use good!"

So with the help of Chef Kawasaki, he designed a masterful gun that can fire giant pieces of delicious chocolate at those that were anything but tasty. A crowd of spectators watched as Dedede the chocolate salesman was going on a mission that did not involve selling chocolate, but forcing it.

Leaving Pop Star, he set off toward the dark, ominous cloud in space that could only be the lair of a giant white eye ball of evil.


	9. Chapter 9 Chocolate Eyeball

Zooming through space on his chocolate blaster, King Dedede was quickly approaching the dark cloud, and he went into it with a grimace.

"Boy, that felt like going into my swimming pool at midnight," he muttered. The familiar spookiness of the area chilled him as the most gruesome sight came upon him. It was a big eyeball that was all white, but it seemed to be different then before. It was now much creepier, with a blood red pupil staring at Dedede and bat like wings giving it more of a demonic look.

"03 I guess?" he asked. But before he could act, it fired a heavy blast of lasers his way. He rolled to the side, and glared at 03 with a desire to take him down. However, since 03 was a giant eyeball with no mouth, Dedede had to think of a very logical way to defeat him and that was to fire chocolate right on the pupil.

"You'll be seeing brown after this!" he exclaimed. He fired his chocolate blaster so a good sized milk chocolate blasted out onto the giant, demonic eye. It was sent backward, and Dedede had to keep firing his weapon while avoiding the unrelenting blasts 03 delivered back.

The stare of 03 was a very disturbing one, and it would have been the scariest final boss ever if not for the silly chocolate blaster. It did seem to work against him, for he was soon paralyzed by all the chocolate.

Now it was his big chance. He charged up enough power in his blaster to land a huge piece of premium quality chocolate on the eyeball's pupil, creating blinding lights that forced Dedede out of the cloud.

Once safe, he turned back to see the cloud explode into the greatest explosion ever, and he was pretty certain that it could not survive being blown up three times in a row. Not to mention that the other pieces of Dark Matter were dying at this time too.

"Good thing my camera's still working," he said. He pulled out a little camera that was hiding in his coat that shown all the footage perfectly.

"Great! This will be the greatest commercial ever!" he exclaimed. And with that, he flew back to Pop Star so he could await his greatest day.


	10. Chapter 10 Chocolate Ending

Huge crowds gathered at the spot where King Dedede was to land. From the castle's front, many characters came together to await the return of the successful salesman.

"Who would've thought that Dedede had done something good for once?!" said a Bronto Burt to Sir Kibble and Chef Kawasaki.

"What can I say? He's the king salesman!" Kawasaki replied. They finally spotted him coming down from the heavens. His rocket was swooping down before straitening out to slowly land on the field, and cheers broke out as King Dedede came out in his space suit, waving at the crowd with his helmet in his armpit.

Chef Kawasaki and the others rushed up to him so they could check on his chocolate, and it was still freshly made.

"Dark Matter's in debt for good!" Dedede told them. The crowds cheered with joy, and many of them picked him up to be taken all around.

"De-De-De! De-De-De!" they chanted. It lasted all the way to the castle, and there was one more visitor there that kind of surprised Dedede. It was Kirby, and he was giving a cheerful wave as he arrived, and the crowd lowered him back to the ground.

"Guess what Kirby?" he said. Kirby stared at him curiously.

"I win! And you lost!" he exclaimed. "Bow down to the king salesman!"

Kirby only shrugged and pointed a foot away. Dedede looked to see a ton of empty boxes.

"Got hungry and quit?!" he asked.

"No Dedede, I think Kirby sold his chocolate," said Kawasaki.

Kirby nodded and Dedede only scoffed without care. He was the hero of the sales war anyway.

"Yeah, but did you fight any monsters or anything?! I don't think so!" he laughed. And with that, Dedede went into his castle so he could go to his bedroom with content.

"That was a good little effort for some money, not that I need it anyway," he mumbled.

He snored loudly below the stars of Dreamland, the king salesman having very sweet dreams indeed.

**The End**


End file.
